So, next week my ex-wife is getting remarried. How am I supposed to feel about this? Normally, if you ask me how I feel about anything or anybody I really can't tell you, mostly cuz I don't know. For some reason I can tell you exactly how I feel about this. I feel like crap. It hurts. I'm not at all happy with the outcome. I know she is my Ex and I shouldn't think twice about it but I do. It feels like I'm being divorced all over again. I've been pretty much forced out of her life for almost a year now and that should have given me a clue. But no.... I'm not that bright. It sucks when we can't talk while her soon to be husband is around. Wouldn't want to upset him. I don't have anything to say that he coulnd't hear. I think it just make him jealous to hear her having a nice conversation with me. I haven't gotten to spend much time with my little buddy Jarrett over the last year. He doesn't really know who I am any more. That makes me sad cuz I made a promise to him and me that I'd be there for him. Well I guess I still am, he just doesn't know it yet. I sometimes feel that if it weren't for Brandt that we wouldn't talk at all. That's sad cuz a year ago we were best friends if nothing else. I know that everybody tells me that we seem perfect for each other, and that may be, but we both know where our relationship stands. I'm not saying that there was ever going to be anything more between us but with her getting married I guess that will ensure that fact and close out this chapter in our relationship. That and the fact our friendship isn't quite where it was makes me feel like I'm loosing twice. Once again much like being divorced the first time.... Only this time no paperwork to file. I know nobody out there really cares about all this but it sure does help to ramble on sometimes like this..... Well anyway...... Til my next rambling.